Haere haere haere kuia ma ...

My first experience of Tiger Air today, flying to and from Melbourne to pay respects and bid a final farewell to 'Aunt Jean'. My husband's only remaining aunt, she has become increasingly frail over recent months and died on Sunday after 97 very full years of life. As he is in Grand Rapids, I really wanted to represent the 'wider family'. And so pleased I went, as I was the only relative apart from the immediate family. Even if I am a relative-in-law. So for the first time, and as the first in my own immediate family, I have met my cousin-in-law and his wife, children and grandchildren. Strangely and yet too frequently it is a death that facilitates this happening. Now that I can no longer exchange seasonal greetings with 'Jean', I look to make new contacts and ensure that future generations know the heritage they share.

It makes me think of the important role of networker or family connector that is present in several branches of my family.

• When my grandfather left England to settle in NZ in the first part of the 20th century, his cousin Olive made sure that successive generations knew of the antipodean family
  
• My grandmother and father were wonderful recounters of family lore that has enriched my understanding of identity
• My mother has handed down 'heirlooms' with details of the history of each. Today I wear a brooch that first belonged to my great-grandmother. And in the china cabinet is the vase given to my grandmother by my grandfather on their first anniversary

The Friday Five this week is about forgetfulness and lateness. In my present state of contented connectedness it is easier to reflect on timeliness. A time for every purpose under heaven .... I respect the way in which many traditional cultures are able to attend to the need of the moment. Meetings get cancelled if there is a death in the community. People arrive neither punctually nor late, but when all that is needed has been done.

This has been a very timely day. The right time to open up new relationships. The right time to try a new airline and enjoy discount fares. A very measured pace (partly due to the early hour of the cheap fare). A call from work about a serious student matter came just as the afternoon tea was finishing. And returning home at just the right time to collect youngest household member from music practice. Taps seems very appropriate:

Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the skies
All is well, safely rest;
God is nigh.

And to Aunt Jean - Haere ra kuia ma, haere ki toku kainga tapu, ake ake ake, amine
Go beloved child of Alice and Matthew, go repected matriarch of our generations, go to your true home forever, Amen.